In 1974 I was attending college to become a teacher but I was also looking for love in all the wrong places with any man who would make me feel loved. I found myself pregnant and I was terrified my family or friends would find out. It was easy to make an appointment at Kaiser Hospital to have an abortion and was over quickly. Six months later I was pregnant again by another man and we decided I could easily get a second abortion. Between physical illness and depression, I ended up dropping out of school. I married the second boyfriend and our marriage lasted less than 2 years. I continued to be sexually promiscuous but never quite finding the love that I thought would fill the hole inside me. I had become a Christian in my teen years but I was too ashamed to ask God for help. I attended church and tried to be the best Christian I could pretend to be but it did not fill the emptiness. I could not allow myself to be attracted to any “nice” men because I was so damaged inside. I did not let any girlfriends get too close because they might see the darkness inside of me. The loneliness was suffocating but I kept pretending to be OK. Every Time I was around someone who was pregnant or had just had a baby I died a little more.
More than 10 years later, I met a Christian man who truly loved me and convinced me that we could be happy and married, even though he knew about my abortions. I still had a lot of darkness inside me but I was good at pretending everything was alright. We had a beautiful son and daughter but the darkness did not allow me to enjoy them. There was a cloud hanging over me that kept waiting for retribution. When my kids were approaching their teen years, God brought me to a place where my story could not be kept hidden any longer. I was led through an abortion recovery Bible study and I received a lot of healing. I was now able to share my story with others, hopefully warning them of the hurt that abortion causes.
After several years of leading the same abortion recovery Bible study, I was taking a break when I reunited with a woman I had partnered with in leading the Bible study. She told me about another abortion recovery ministry she had experience and was now facilitating. She invited me to a Deeper Still retreat and I went, thinking that I was healed but was curious about what they did. The Lord knew that I was ready for and needed some deeper healing in my life. I experienced the love of God through the Deeper Still team more than I had ever experienced before. After my retreat, I wanted to be a part of this ministry and went to a training seminar to learn how to serve during a retreat. It has been my privilege to serve on several retreats, watching God and His love touch men and women to heal their abortion wounded hearts.
In 2019, I was asked to pray and consider opening a Deeper Still chapter in the Inland Empire area of Southern California. God has miraculously opened doors to cause this chapter to be opened and to orchestrate its first retreat to be in November of 2020. God has divinely ordered the men and women that He has designated to be on this team to be trained and ready to serve for this retreat. God has also designated the ladies/guests who will be attending this first retreat. He has poured abundant favor on this chapter.
Deeper Still retreats are held at no cost for each individual/guest to allow everyone to experience this healing. The retreats are funded through sponsors and donations from people who want to partner with God to bring healing to men and women who have had their life destroyed by the darkness of abortion. Each retreat cost about $6,500 and every giving gift helps. Please pray about becoming a financial partner with Deeper Still Inland Empire. If you would like to sponsor a participant, contact me and I can let you know the amount (for confidentiality, you will not know who you are sponsoring). Otherwise, any prayer support and financial support helps this ministry.
You can access our donation page on the tab above. There are different ways to give, all listed on this page.
Thank you for your time and your prayerful consideration for partnering with us.
Psalm 139:13-18 NIV - For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand--when I awake, I am still with you.
“This changed my life. I love all of you for helping me. I walked out a different person.”
“So grateful for God’s hand upon the team and ministry. The start and completion of healing of my mind, soul & body. Most of all No Longer being a slave to Fear or giving the enemy a foothold in my life. Amen!!”
“To all who were involved with making this weekend possible, Thank you for showing us the Love of God through your words and actions. You have made a deep impact on my life by revealing truth in love & grace. Sharing your stories and witnessing your own love for the Lord through your sacrifice and service. Thank you! You each have a place in my heart and I will be forever praying for you all. All my love.”
“I was so skeptical, but now I have a list of people I’m going to pray over, that they could come and receive the same blessings and healing that I have received. This really has set me free. I love all of you so much and I thank God for you. Thank you. “
“Well, I came thinking that I was already all healed! But to my surprise! First of all it really encouraged me to come when I received a beautiful card from a prayer Buddy named Rosie. It gave me so much encouragement. Then all the messages that spoke to my heart were amazing! When I was asked if I open spirit, I respond Yes! And suddenly it was open in an amazing way. Cynthia & Sonia were my angels to guide me to forgive and confess all my hurts. Then Dacia, Rosie and Bobbie were so awesome, guiding me and agreeing with my prayers, cutting all Soul Ties. Their support was amazing. The Memorial Wow! It was like if I was walking in to my heavenly Father’s throne. Telling me that I am loved. I thank my Heavenly Father for His amazing blessings through this ministry. Thanks to Janice who didn’t give up on me. Thank you Deeper Still for blessing my heart and my life. “